:: Counting Blessing :: 2007 1st Chapter Another One (again…)

Another attended Hospital, Another Doctors, Some Opinion. Big Risks. Uncured.

Somehow deep inside my schizoprenic mind grew empty toughts about everything. As matter of facts, mostly every single time I was being judged of "acting or thingking too much" about everything. Well, I admitt that I have those clinical depressions, anxieties, imsonia and generally decreased of life expectations (in which I don’t understand which parts that I’m being "too much"…^^~).

But hey, who doesn’t have those kind of moody depressions (at least a lil’ bit) when it come to the people  or the things that we love so much, that "counted" inside our closest circle of life….

It’s funny when I was asked not to questioned that.

Not to questioned "Why I can’t be too much in thinking or loving someone/something too much"….Not to question "Why I shouldn’t think about others too much".

Or the other hand they will asked me to "Hey, just stop thinking or loving other people too much…Just think about yourself now…" "Just Be Yourself…"

OK.

Yet, when I stop questioning, when I stop being "too much", when I fulfilled what they "want"…., when I’m being myself.

They will ask me; "Why are you stop questioning?" or "Why are you so different now? We love the old you, the one that will love or care about people unconditionally"…or "Why don’t you fight again for what you want like you used to…"  "Why are you being someone else?"

@_@? uhmm…? aaa?… well then,…

Gosh! WHAT THE H*** DO YOU EXACTLY TRYING TO TELL ME ANYWAY?…

*fiuh!*

Back to the 1st thing I want to write…

Counting a week to another journey to an island, for another answer (that I probably already knew…). So, I better saddle up my bags, finishing unfinished (neverending) office-works … and ehm, try (again) to use those upcoming 3 days away for 3 days of re-charging.

Again. 

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