::…Santa, Can you Hear Me?…::

….On Christmas Eve….*turning on mp3z player on my notebook*

"""….Christmas Eve, I just can’t sleep, Will i be wrong just taking a peek ? Cause that I heard that your coming to town….Santa, can you hear me ? I really hope you’re on your way with Something special for me in your sleigh Ooh please make my wish come true ….Santa, can you hear me ?

I want my baby, I want someone to love me someone to hold, Maybe we’ll be all alone under the mistle toe…Santa, can you hear me ?  I have been so good this year, And all I want is one thing…

Tell me my true love is here….He’s all I want just for me, Underneath my Christmas tree, I’ll be waiting here….Santa that’s my only wish this year.
I hope my letter reaches you in time, Bring me a love that I can call all mine…."""

I felt… FLAT… on Christmas Eve, the feeling that i’ve never felt before. It’s not like this past few years been good Christmas Eves either… but somehow this year is the… hm, how to say it, the "loneliest" of all…

Sometimes when I went somewhere, sitting inside the car or taxi….my eyes just wondering out and see the stray people outside, sitting on the dusty street—small kids, old ladies….sleeping in carton-box-houses…singing car to car just to get not even a dime… What is in their mind, are they feel okay? are they happy?… are they ever feel lonely? What is in the kids’ mind when they were singing to a BMW and see inside there’s another well-grommed school boy with a newest high-tech Handphone and the coolest school bag they ever seen in their life? ? ARe they even going to school? …

It’s hurt my heart so badly, but all i can do is just to give what i can give at the time… It’s like a BIG PICTURE, but i can only sees it, can’t touch it. It’s also makes me realize I shouldn’t feel this "lonely"… Why I have to be "lonely" while I got so much more than they have….

I got so many friends around, of course my family, person I loves….altough they are not with me… altough they are busy with their own priorities, altough I don’t know where they are….Altough I always have wishpers in my heart "Do they think about me, as I do?", "Do they miss me, as I do?" "Do they remember me, at least?"… (hahah^^~ my love sounds so conditionally…:P)

I still have them. I "treasure" everything in and from them. For What they have done to my life and what will they do later on. I will always do "treasure" that.  Although they can’t be "with" me.

= ^-^ = *smile*

I gotta stop to being so "complicated"….(but again, I went to sleep at 3 a.m…. talking about wanting to simplify thing ….hehehhe…).

I do want to be more… grateful and simple. I’ll try. I promise.

….On Christmas Day…

*grinned* I’m at the office on Christmas Day :)…

Had Christmas Gathering with my family on lunch time, though. Having Ice Creamz, Nice Thai Cuisine lunch… It’s a Cold War Situation but still I treasure a lot of this chance for us to go out together havin` good meals, sitting together…. It doesn’t always come, you know….*Oh, How I love you guys…HUGZ*

My Friend called and share her feeling about her boyfriend, how her boyfriend doesn’t even called or sms her for 2 days. No News. No nothing. I don’t really know what to say except to calm her down and to think positive (look who’s calming people down and ask her to think positive…Me!…ahaahha), altough I kinda understand how she feel… We, girls, always have that tendency specialy when we are really in love…..it’s  So Girls` Thingy. Guys won’t really understand….^^~ Hmm.

My Best Friend, also shared her heart and soul. My other friends complaining how lately I’m so hard to reach…. Gosh, Guyz, I’m sorry, I guess I am selfish lately because of so many things rushing in to my life…So i kinda "forgot" about all of you…. You guyz know, I won’t do that.

I just got bombarded by so many things this pas few months…. I’ll be back to the kewl un-mellowed me. Please give me time to re-charge will ya hahah^^~

Also Planning at least can meet someone that can always make me happy, smile, feel calm and safe, that someone that I always miss so bad recently … but that someone have to go out of town with the "last person on earth" that I want that someone to go out of town with….he he he ^^~ (…Hmmph mode on…)

But hey hey…. C’mon, simplify things, Wuri….(breathe in breathe out…). There’s lot of aspects you have to "handle"…. so be "strong".

Well, here I am at my office…. turning on my Mp3z player with the same Christmas songs last night…

"""….Santa, can you hear me ? I sent my letter that I sealed with a kiss …I send it off and just said this I know exactly what I want this year …Santa, can you hear me ?….

I want my baby, ….I want someone to love me someone to hold, Maybe, Maybe Be all my own in a big red bow….Santa, can you hear me ?

I have been so good this year ….And all I want is one thing, …

Tell me my true love is here….He’s all I want just for me Underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here, Santa that’s my only wish this year….""""

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2005 to all of you…..Wishing You all the best and joy in life. Thank You for everythin` guyz…. :::Liebe:::

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::….2006 To Do list…::

1.  Do the best for family, friends and love one,… Cleaning up the mess I’ve made along the way, Straighting the lines…NEVER stop "fightings" for them.

2.  Take Mom to Europe.

3.  As for health, Losing My Incredible 16 pounds weight gained in a year 2005… *haeueahuhae*, Back to that Treadmillz days like in states (1 hours everyday), adding Swimmingz into Hobbies list and fighting those "lil` Alienz" behind my lungs.

4.  Finished all the bookz that i haven’t done reading…(I should), Most of all : Go Back to school!, finishing My Japanese Language Class… and starting new languages courses (Mandarin here I come…)

5.  Getting my own place, buy a car *grinned* ^^~, Getting a Cat, Big fat Chubby one "MIAAAAAUWzzzz….Rrrrrrr…." …excited mode on. Imagining, Laying down on my own bed on a chill` sunday with Good Movies, my cat and someone special…(hmmmm…hihihih ^^~)

6.  "I want a Piano" (Danny the Dog, Jet Lee 2005) get back to that musical days and Learn how to cook chinese *teow-cheow* cuisine (the things that I should’ve done years ago…hehehe)

7.  …Kuala Lumpur 13-19 April 2006…

8.  Focus on office-works and Band www.cahbagus.com …*gotta launch their albums ..Wheww, buzy days comin` soon!*

9.  Attending My Best Friends Wedding 18 May 2006, Contacting all missing old palz… and Event Organizing our next high school Reunion

10  ….To Forgive and to Forget, Be A Stronger Me, Stop Whining,  Running away again is not the answer, Face the Reality and the truth, Always look down and see that I’m still the luckiest person on earth… Unconditionaly Love everyone and …Most of all "Be Thankful"… Everything Happens for Reason…

adding more…..

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…It’s Hard Letting You Go….:: Mizu ::

(mellow mode on….)

It ain’t no fun lying down to sleep and there ain’t no secrets left for me to keep.
I wish the stars up in the sky would all just call in sick and the clouds would take the moon out on some one-way trip.

I walked all night down streets that wouldn’t bend but somehow they drove me back here once again….

To the place I lost at love, and the place I lost my soul
I wish I’d just burn down this place that I called home.

It would all have been so easy if you’d only made me cry and told me how you’re leaving me to some organ grinder’s lullaby.

Now the sky, it shines a different kind of blue and the neighbor’s dog don’t bark like he used to.

Well - me, these days, I just MIZU…so.

It’s the nights that I go insane unless you’re here with me….

For me, that’s one thing I know that won’t change.

It’s hard …. it’s tearing out my heart.
But It’s hard letting you go…. So I will stay and won’t let go.

(I "Mizu", you know?… Thank you so much for everything, Sleepy Busy Boy….You know I’ll always wishing u the best in life….)

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