Rough October…..

November 29th, 2005

It was a rough October for me. So many things happened, lately… I really have to spent more ‘energy’, time and soul-searching effort to past it.

Overloads with work this time means a small matter to me. If I compare for what a person can do to your life in just a month.
Being face out with the real TRUTH about someone that you think that you have known him. Someone that, once—, you think that you can really trust and depend on. Someone that, once—, you care so deeply. Someone that once— you wish could be the one that understand, support and gave out the best in you. Someone that, once—-, you think might be the ONE.

Someone that ONCE you ‘FIGHT’ for, just because you do always fights for people you love so much.

Someone that you know he’s actually a very nice person.
Yet, he left you by yourself to solve what you need to settle for many years, not just for this once.
"Don’t whine to me, it’s your own problem and your risks"
And when he’s "back" into your life, again… all he thinks of is himself. About pride. About winning. 
About He seen everything only from his own mind and prespectives that all this time is always the rightfull truth.
About He will do everything just to win the game.
One thing is he perfectly done it great is to make me feels that I don’t know who I can trust anymore, even my own family and friends.
How can you said that you love me but actually the one that you love is your own ego.

I learn so much more in this past month.
Just with a single ‘click’, I realize that I don’t really know him. I think i knew.
This life it’s not a game. It’s not about winning or losing.
And I’m not a trophy.

"Love is not always rainbow and butterflies….it’s also needs compromise"

But I do also want to say SORRY for every HURTS that I’ve caused you…

I do want to say THANK YOU for every memories that we’ve shared….

I want you to know…. YOU deserve MORE.

And please understand you won’t have it …..with me.

So Please go on with your life. Reach out for the star. You have it in you all along … Be Driven. Be Succesful.

At the end…. You will find "her".

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The Importance of Being Idle…..

November 3rd, 2005

Whatta boring day.

Finally days off after a while… got 2 days off from a festive Moslem Holiday…

Just got back from Pondok Indah Mall 2 with my friends (My dear friend, –Leny, is visiting us from S’pore)…. basically we just wondered around *I did try on a few Zara’s clothes….hm thinking of buying some of them next time… (have to calculate priorities first…^^~)…..*

And then we all got tired of just wondered around. Decided to go home… (I guess, we are not teenagers anymore…We are now lazy and no spirit hahahha….*piff…*)

Planning on swimming. But changed my mind when suddenly i felt sleepy… yet the pool is full of kids and my mood of swimming faded away….hahahha….

But Anyhow, i just jumped into the pool for a few minutes….(kiasu mode….)

Here I am. Infront of my notebook.

Great.

What I’m doin`? I should stay away from computer and got online on days off. Better doin` some socialize activities…..

Argh…… Whatta boring day….

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